i pretend like.. I'm okay by wearing 'my mask' i mean.. uhh i'm faking a smile just to show that i'm okay, but inside.. i was crying! dying! :( people around me have no idea how badly I am hurting inside, how broken my heart is and how much I wish I was dead. So i can easily frgt all this. sometimes little things set off great emotions in me, and I have to try my best to hold back the tears. yeah, i've to be strong and i've to move on! I need time alone sometimes to just cry. Some people sort of know of the pain I experience but they do not understand, or they think it's silly or for a silly reason. sometimes, I just want to remove "my mask" publically and let all my feelings out. but i cant! i just decided to stop showing it :(  I have break down late at night, when no one is around to see or hear me, it's such a lonely and dark place to be. you know whatttt, i always re-read all the text messages between me and him :| the sad thing is I don't think anyone will ever see the REAL me. It's been so long, that I'll probably never be able to remove this "mask.." but trust me, someday, i'll frgt you. *p/s hidayah, be strong.